Sometimes, it may not even seem obvious to us that we suffer from low self esteem. Having low self esteem doesn't necessarily mean that you dislike yourself. You sometimes have to take a closer look at your behavior to identify problems with self esteem. Examine the choices you make every day, even the little stuff, to give you more insight into the health of your self esteem. Do you have problems with relationships, and seem to keep attracting men who don't seem to respect you, or never seem to feel as strongly for you as you do for them? Do you ever feel like you just keep giving and giving but nobody ever gives you anything back? Do you have problems disciplining yourself when it comes to drugs, food, alcohol, or men? Do you wish you had as much motivation, creativity or beauty as other women you know? These are just a few of the questions you should ask yourself.
If you have low self esteem, you most likely either are not in a relationship or are not happy in the one you're in. You want badly to feel loved, to have someone who cares how your day went and thinks you are beautiful. But how do you ever expect anyone to love you like you want, when you don't even love yourself like that? Are you the kind of person that the man you're looking for is looking for? The unfortunate and tough answer is probably not. But the good news is, you can be. And it's as simple as making the decision to start living your life in a way that moves you farther down the path of a confident woman who sees herself as valuable and deserving of love.
When I say it's simple, it truly is! The way you improve your self esteem is to be mindful of your thoughts. You just need to be willing to stop in the middle of a negative thought about yourself, discard it, and replace it with a new, positive thought. Next time you look at yourself in the mirror and start to think, "I really hate how frizzy my hair is," immediately redirect your thoughts to something you like about your appearance. Maybe you like your bright green eyes or the curve of your hips. There is beauty in every woman so if you have to stand in front of that mirror for an hour until you find it, you stand there.
Be brave. Dig deep for the courage to face yourself in the mirror and behold your own beauty. Allow yourself to savor it. Before long, your brain will be trained to start thinking in better ways about yourself! It's kind of like retraining your hair to part on the other side. Every day you go through the motions of brushing it repeatedly in the new way you want until it starts to relax and go that way naturally. So practice redirecting bad thoughts into appreciative, supportive thoughts about yourself until it becomes the default way you think about yourself.
There is no miracle here. There is no grand solution. Improving self esteem is done through daily practice. To be willing to put the time into that practice, you must take that first leap of faith. Believe in yourself one more time--just enough to follow through with this daily affirmation, and you won't be sorry.
If you are a woman who struggles with relationships, it may be because of your self esteem. I highly recommend the following from my good friend Katarina Phang.
